They say nothing good can come from social media, well, I disagree, because that's how I met Ruth, the coolest, most stylish woman, through Instagram. It was love at first sight. Her outfits, the mix of wild patterns and colors together, bold accessories, made me think: this woman has an interesting story to tell, and I NEED to share it!
Like, how is she not in any fashion magazine? Her approach to fashion (and life), her textile career, and her confidence can teach us a thing or two about what it means to dress with courage and be fully yourself.
Hi Ruth, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
I am a widow. I'll be 71 at the end of the year. I married late in my life — I met my husband at 40, we married at 46, and I was widowed at 52. I have a degree in fashion merchandising. I went to New York for a couple of years, got my degree, then came back to Houston for the executive training program at one of the department stores here. I decided I didn't like retail — I didn't want to work for somebody in a retail store. So I opened my own business at 30.
I'd learned to knit as a child from my mother and grandmother, and I built my shop around custom knit sweaters — very high-end, European-inspired. After about six years, I could see it plateauing, so when I read that needlepoint was taking off in Houston, I switched the whole business over. There were already a lot of needlepoint stores in Houston, so I knew I had to do something nobody else was doing — I started designing and designing my own canvases, and built a finishing business turning them into pillows, stockings, even belts and shoes. That's where I really brought a fashion-forward eye into needlepoint.
When did your love for fashion start?
I probably started liking it in my late teens — I was very art-oriented, I loved my art classes, that kind of stuff. I'm the youngest of four, so I was very comfortable being by myself. My older sister, six years older than me, was really into fashion and influenced me heavily. By the time I was 18 or 19, I knew I wanted to go to New York. She married young, so she had access to funds to explore European brands, and she taught me how to look at it, how to wear it, how to appreciate it. It combines my love of art and textiles.
How do you come up with all your creative outfits?
I have a lot of clothes and I want to wear them — I've collected a lot through the years. I've got belts that go all the way back to the 80s, and I fortunately never got rid of a lot of it. Jewelry has always been something intimate and close to my heart, so I always wore jewelry. I might throw on a pearl and diamond necklace, which I could dress up, but I could also wear it with a t-shirt and jeans, because I love mixing.
Do you plan your outfits ahead, or is it more intuitive?
No, no, no — I'm never a planner. When I travel, I'll plan, because I pack in a carry-on only. But day to day, I'll walk into my closet and just go: what do I feel like wearing today? It could start with a pair of pants and I'll build up, or it could start with a top and I'll build down. Some days I don't want to wear a skirt, so that narrows it to pants. Other days I only want a skirt or a dress because it's hot.
Do you think it's harder for women today to figure out their personal style than it was for your generation?
Women were collecting things — clothing, belts, jewelry, scarves — I grew up in an era with a lot of accessories. So when that stuff came back around, I already had it, I didn't have to go buy it. I think that's one of the problems with women younger than me — they're still in that collecting mode because they didn't collect it in their 20s.
The other thing is, we grew up with fashion magazines, occasional movies — movies weren't coming out that fast, so we didn't have that constant influence. It was just magazines. You've been inundated by influence coming from every direction, so it's no wonder people are confused about whether they really like something or were just influenced into buying it.
What do you think younger women get wrong that older women have figured out?
They're too restrained. It's interesting — the younger generation grew up with the freedom of women being independent, but when they're young, they suppress that. It's only as they get older — there's actual medical proof that once women go through menopause, that restraint gets removed, they gain confidence and just go, "I don't care." I think that's something younger women aren't taught. They're inundated with so much that they freeze up and don't end up buying or doing anything. This is why I keep telling people — use your accessories. Accessories are what make your look unique, and a lot of women just don't have that.
Do you think a person needs confidence to wear more elevated outfits?
Yes. And I think women need to learn not to care what other people think about them. I know where mine came from. I think — and this is something I think Black women also have — confidence in what they're wearing, and they don't really care. I think mine is similar, and I'll tell you why. When I was young, I came up against some teasing and bullying, because I was different. I grew up in the South. I'm Chinese. I knew I was never going to be six feet tall, blonde, and blue-eyed — that was never going to happen. So trying to fit into that image was never going to work, and any criticism I might have gotten just deflected off of me because of that. I never cared what people thought of me or what I wore. It gave me a fearlessness to just wear what I wanted, and when people reacted well to it, that gave me the confidence to pursue it even more. It's ironic — so many women want to be different, but they're scared, pardon my French, s***less to be different. That's just never been in my vocabulary. Be fearless. What are they going to do to you?
Have you ever gotten judged for wearing a unique outfit?
In my 71 years on this planet, have I ever been criticized about something I've worn? No, It's very strange — I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but there's something about my demeanor that must tell people: don't f*** with me.
What is personal style for you?
Personal style for me is an expression of yourself and what you love. It doesn't necessarily have to be clothes, it could be the interior of your home, it could be anything.
When it comes to fashion, what you wish more women knew?
Experiment. Try new things. You don't have to buy it, you just have to try it on. Play with it. Be open, be curious — maybe that's the best advice I can give anybody as they're aging or growing in any field. Don't be so rigid that you think you have to fit into a little box. If it's not going to cost you anything, go for it, try it, and sit with it for a while — you might end up liking it. I'd really encourage women to be more adventurous, more curious.
What personal style say about a woman that words can't?
Clothing can tell the world if you're happy, sad, looking for a man, confident, artistic, sensitive. It can tell them if you're up to date on what's going on in the world, if you care about yourself or not. I've told my great-niece, who is 14 — you need to understand, even at your age, what you wear conveys something nonverbal. Every time you put clothes on, you're nonverbally conveying something to people, whether you mean to or not. The way I dress, the way I walk, the way I present myself is: don't f*** with me.
Do you have any tips for finding your personal style?
You need to be exposed to a lot of things — art, interior design. That's actually where I'd start. People's homes say a lot about what they like or don't like. If you're decorating a home, being able to convey your taste to an interior designer, or when you're shopping for your home, is invaluable — it shows your taste level. Traveling is huge too — you see how other cultures put their interiors together, the colors, the textiles, what you're drawn to, and that's an indication of what you'll like in your clothing.
If you saw my home, it's very much like the way I dress — my bedroom is all black and white, my bathroom is black and white with touches of turquoise and pink, but my living room is full of color and texture. A lot of it comes down to noticing what pulls you in, what colors and art attract you. You need to enrich your eye more than anything.
What makes you decide "I want this item"?
It's intuitive, but I'm also thinking about it. Because of my age, I've seen a lot of things repeated — things done 25 years ago coming back around. If I want something that's a repeat, I want the original. There are a lot of handbags that are copies of the Hermès Birkin, and I'm not going to buy the copy — I'm going to go for the original, or for the DNA of that particular brand or designer. When I'm looking at something, I look at the fabric first — what it's going to add to my closet, and the silhouette. I'm also intrigued by things that are unusually structured — interesting pleats, interesting cuts. I have to control myself sometimes, because I can end up with a lot of stuff I have no place to wear. I'm always looking for something with a basic shape but a detail that gives it a twist — something I can maybe manipulate or change from how it was originally designed.
Any tips for buying secondhand?
I'd go into high-brand stores first, see what you like, look at the fabrics, the construction. Then I'd wait for the RealReal to put it on sale — because it will show up. There are pieces I've bought that were two grand and I got them for $300, $400. You can get great deals, pick up really good brands. Same with vintage — look at the labels, the fabrication, the construction. The simpler the design but the more luxurious the fabric, that's what I'm drawn to.
Can you please share with us 3 items you love that are under $100?
dogs, boys and other things I’ve cried about - A wonderful writer and the book is being made into a tv series - $19.60
Buru - a great dress for jewelry and can be worn over pants - $48
Marc By Marc Jacobs bag - A colorful daytime bag for when you need a pop of color $36
Where can we find you?
Instagram: adventuresinlifeandtravle
